before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
