Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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