So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
