Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
