Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
well you can't waste a boner
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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