we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
