He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
