they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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