Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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