Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My breasts were aching with rage.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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