i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
