The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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