What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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