you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
