real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
