Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
