no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
