we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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