dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Vodka?
Forever.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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