She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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