I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
