Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
