I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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