no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
