Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
