will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
