my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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