She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm having to shit out rocks
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