So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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