My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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