I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
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Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
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