I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Randomize
