Will you blow on my dice?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
