no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
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what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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