i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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