I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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