I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize