paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
