I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
