what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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