So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
