WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
