Swine flu. Run for my life!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
