So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
