I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize