yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes