I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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