my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale