You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There's always time for handjobs
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I lost the right to judge tonight
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special