it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
