I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
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