Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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