My girlfriend figured out who you are.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
