Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
