i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
