Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
