I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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