It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
