Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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