watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
