Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
