too bad you live with your parents still
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
