thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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