he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
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I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
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Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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