It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
